Sunday, December 6, 2009

Following God's Will

HELLO THERE
You've heard many great stories about our lives here in Houston, but I'm not sure if you know exactly why we're here. There's no better time than now for me to re-introduce - wait a second...yes, that's it - e-introduce myself officially on blogspot.

I am blogging on our site for the first time, which means only one thing: this is Matt, the other Arnold (a.k.a., Luke Wilson look-alike, which I have heard twice today...funny...must be the new at&t commercials). I feel intense bravery as I post because of the massive pressure associated with blogging: to say something really interesting and grip your heart, mind and soul while drawing you away from whatever activity normally has your attention. So, with that in mind, welcome and thanks for taking the time to stop by.


WELCOME TO HOUSTON
The fourth largest city in the U.S. has become our new home thanks to Houston's First Baptist Church and its search for a new Creative Services Director. What is that? Seriously, I get asked the same question quite frequently. I lead a team of graphic/web designers and illustrators while simplifying complexity and supporting the church's vision of being relevant in a culture where quality is key, technology is a necessity and Starbucks has replaced the conference room.

There's one problem. I had one goal when I knew it was time to move: find a worship pastor position somewhere on planet earth. That's it. It was pretty simple. I was burnt out on graphic design. After all, I had invested an average of 60-70 hours a week as a Creative Director before, and I was done. So why am I leading a design team? That's the million dollar question. I'm glad you asked. That question can only be answered by saying, "It is God's will right now for my life." Will I ever be a full-time worship pastor/leader? If that's what God has for me, then yes. If not, then I'll continue to follow Him wherever that may be.

I used to be afraid of the tallest slide at the water park. You know, the one that has a vertical slope shooting straight down toward the ground and sends you four inches off the slide to eventually cause you to fall over the side to your death? The one that gives you the worst super wedgie ever? Yes, that's the one. So one year, I went to a large water park with a group of friends who wanted to go on that tall slide together. Great. What was I going to say? No? Yeah right, and ruin one of my biggest chances to be cool and fit in with all the other guys? Minutes later, I found myself at the top of what seemed like a 30-story tower looking down and contemplating how I was going to maneuver my body into a position that would leave me with minimal damage and broken bones. I remember the kid in front of me disappearing right before my eyes. I looked behind me and there was no way I was getting out of it. The line had already built up so much that I couldn't turn around and walk down. Plus, what 15-year old wants to walk past everyone in humiliation with a defeated look on his face?

"You ready?" asked the attendant startling me as I was concentrating on my survival plan.
"Yep!" I said confidently, yet about to wet my pants (good thing I was already wet).

I remember the moment I crossed my arms and stuck my legs out to slide down the never ending water torture device. My body tilted slowly until I was practically standing without a floor to support me. I felt like I was in a complete cordless free fall from a bungee tower. All you could do was pray there was water beneath you. So I closed my eyes, pushed off the platform and all I remember was screaming for what seemed like an hour until my board shorts felt like they had just been ripped off my body. I came to a stop and, eyes still closed, hoped that I wasn't completely naked in the middle of a water park in front of all my friends. Was I? Was I? I DON'T KNOW! I can't wipe the water out of my eyes to see anything. Oh my goodness, hurry up! Hurry up! OK, am I good??? Phew. I was covered...and I was alive!

There's some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard. Just had a strange thought about that being a commercial. Back to the story...

The point is that after I went down the slide of death the first time, I did it eight more times! I know because I counted. I'll never forget how fun and fulfilling that moment of my life was. If I hadn't overcome my fear and experienced what it was like, I would have continued to live in fear and never known how amazing that slide was. God is trying to show us how amazing life can be if we only take the step of faith required to experience it.


JOB SEARCH
After a two-month search for the perfect job and a number of promising interviews, I hadn't felt the peace necessary to make a wise decision. I had just left my job of one year at a church that I had been a member of for seven years. I had led worship for the college ministry since 2001 and had helped build it with sweat and tears alongside some of my favorite people in the world. I wasn't ready to leave, but I knew that it was time to go.

I spent endless hours gazing into the pixels of a computer screen while I constructed clever ways to say how amazing I could do whatever these churches said they were looking for. I mean, we all do that right? Dress to impress, only through words in the form of a resume, cover letter, or "here's why you should hire me" pitch. Needless to say, I was growing weary after repeating this process every day for two months. It's only a matter of time until you start to get sick of talking about yourself. And computers sure are wonderful, but they just don't fulfill the human need for interaction. I had to take a break. So that's exactly what I did.


SEEKING GOD
We lived close to the water in the great small town of Pensacola, Florida, a place we still call home. A place of friends, family, white sand beaches, fresh seafood, cool breeze from the ocean, slow paced living and, of course, the best family-owned Italian restaurant there is: Tuscan Oven. The nearest body of water was a only a 20-minute drive, which takes us to the break. I finally rested my eyes after two months of searching by driving to an area in historic downtown Pensacola where a hurricane destroyed Bayfront Auditorium, a once popular venue for bands and other social events. Months after the devastation of Hurricane Ivan in 2004, the building was demolished and the area restored to a serene waterfront dock. You could enjoy the affects of the sunset as its rays skipped across ripples of mirror-like waves shifting endlessly in all directions. You could see flocks of seagulls excited when a child threw bread into the air. You could hear the sound of fishing lines reeled in by the fisherman who had waited all day for the perfect catch. I can feel the breeze now. This was the place where my worries seemed small. My cares stepped back. God's refuge was near. God was near.

You must have a place you can go where you can set aside distractions and listen for God's voice. It may be in your house, at a park, in a gym, wherever you feel like you can meditate on His Word.


NOISE
But why was it here that God seemed to speak so clearly? I had searched for the answer so diligently before, or at least I thought. After many hours of soul searching and praying, it had to be only one thing: the lack of noise. Don't get me wrong, I love sound. Music is a huge part of my life and not being able to hear would be unbearable for me, but I refer to noise as the complicated way of living that so many of us are entangled in. We have an unnecessary urge to check work email at home; have a detailed agenda on a vacation; think more about the future than the present; invest more time in habits than commitments; spend hours of valuable time trying to keep up with social media that has disconnected us from real relationships. Somehow, this dock on the water was able to free me from all distraction in my life. I could stare into the sky and know God was ready for me to jump into His arms and not worry about anything. Why worry about tomorrow? Today had enough troubles of its own. I kept reading Matthew 6:34 over and over again. Why was I worried? Wasn't God big enough to handle the entire universe, let alone, my tiny issues?

Noise. Life is loud and our ears are begging for a break. If only we could silence the noise and listen, would we hear His voice? Would we want to hear His voice? Would we really want to know His will for our lives? Do we really want to know where we are supposed to be? Or does the mere thought of that scare us to death?


CONVENIENCE
After hours of intense prayer and countless nights laying on a wooden dock in the middle of God's creation, I had finally realized what was missing: God's Word. His directions. The guide book to life. I was filling my life with stuff - things that seemed so important and difficult to live without. Life otherwise had to be empty and meaningless. At least, that's what I had convinced myself to believe. I had created a world of distraction around me. Yes, that's it. If only I could stay busy, I wouldn't have to think about life and the real issues that surrounded me. Issues that kept me in a constant unsettled mindset only to be dealt with later when it was convenient. That's an interesting word. It is one that should grant peace. If you do something when it's convenient, you have the luxury to set your own time frame. That wasn't the case here. That word "convenience" only pressed harder and harder until it had enough power to keep me dwelling on how difficult it was to re-prioritize my life. It would never be convenient. I would always have a plan or a goal or an event or activity to pull me away from having the time to sit down and listen to what God might say if he had a chance to speak. I believed there was no time to stop the important tasks that "had to get done" in order to stay ahead in life. I was being held prisoner by my own thoughts. Something had to change. It couldn't be small. Life-sized change was the only kind that would work.


QUESTIONS
The question was difficult to ask, but the answer was clear. Is it time to move? Other questions arose throughout much prayer. Is there somewhere else God desired to work through us? Is it going to require more faith than ever? Are we going to know all the details? Are we going to sell the house? Is Elizabeth going to find a job quickly?

We still haven't sold the house and it took Elizabeth two months to find a job. How did we make it? The only answer we have is God's faithfulness.

It was time to move our comfortable lives into the unknown where we would have to hand over the controls and have faith enough to believe God could handle moving us to Houston. After all, he had moved mountains before and we don't weigh that much! Was it easy? Well, we didn't have our own home for the first nine months and our furniture was in storage back home (along with our dogs - don't worry, they weren't in storage). My job required me to hit the ground running the day I started and hasn't slowed down since. Elizabeth didn't have a job for the first two months. We had left our entire support system behind: our family and friends. We were having doubts about the fact that God really wanted us in Houston. We were unsure of why God would pull us out of everything we knew into a foreign city with 5 million people we didn't know and traffic we had never experienced before. It was definitely one of the toughest situations we have ever had to face.


THE HERE & NOW
Fast forward to almost a year-and-a-half later and here we are in Houston, Texas, living in an amazing home of our own working at jobs we love and living life with family and friends who have helped support us along every step of the way.

God has done an amazing work in the Creative Services department. We are now being utilized by every ministry in the church and have a team that is not only the largest design team within a church in Houston, but is also recognized as one of the most talented group of designers in the city by ad agencies, churches and other organizations. I mentioned searching for a worship pastor position earlier and want to say, no, I didn't become a full-time worship pastor. He opened a door to something greater: the environment and freedom to do both worship and design. The beauty of God's plans is they are always perfect for us. Not only am I privileged to lead a team of skilled designers, I am honored to lead worship with some of the most passionate people in our Worship Ministry and Student Ministry every week.

God is doing amazing things in our church. We entered a capital campaign two years ago to raise $20 million in 3 years for various renovations, projects and missions efforts. We received $24.4 million in pledges and have already paid off the $12 million Worship Center renovation, which has only been complete for a year. By the end of the campaign, we will be debt free. What an incredible work God can do through people who are faithful and seek His will.

Elizabeth loves her job at First Baptist Academy Primary School, a ministry of our church. So yes, we work at the same place and get to take the HOV (carpool lane) to work every day! She gets to work around kids and enjoys giving tours of the school. Plus, we get to work within walking distance of each other, which is nice when you have the opportunity to eat lunch together or just stop by to say hey!

We have grown the most over the past year of our relationship. We have been stretched tremendously. God has revealed Himself in more ways than imaginable and is doing incredible things within the life of our church and city.

So, is it possible to leave everything behind and follow God's will? Well, of course, we say yes, but do we really believe it? Or is it something we think can happen to other people, but not to us.

God wants us to live in the pages of His story. He desires to fulfill us with His perfect purpose. Take risks. Be intentional. Free your mind from imprisoning thoughts. Live life with the expectation that God is going to move. And when He does, be ready to follow at any cost.

It took many hours of prayer and humility to understand God's purpose for our lives. Do we understand it all? No. Do we know what's next? Not necessarily. That's all right. Knowing too much of the future only keeps you living in it. How can we be faithful if we know what's going to happen next? It's time to live in the now and make ourselves available and ready for whatever God wants to do with our lives. We are here to know God and make Him known.

This is what I've wanted to tell all of you for the longest time. I just never had the "time" to say it. Lesson learned.

Let's risk life together.

Here we go...

1 comments:

Kristi Van Der Merwe said...

Matt, thanks for this post!! I am so glad that you and Elizabeth are exactly where God wants you to be!! I like how you emphasized that we should be intentional. take risks. SEEK his will. Ruco and I also know we are right where God wants us, but getting here did take a little "seeking." ;) We miss you guys, and pray that we get to meet up sometime in the near future!